In the dark days before kitty litter was invented, cats either went outside to do their business, or scratched around in litter boxes lined with sand or dirt. This all changed in the late 1940’s, when a young fella who worked in industrial absorbants handed some fuller’s earth over the fence to his neighbour when her sandpit was done froze over.

She was so stoked with the way it absorbed everything in neat little non-trackable clumps that the young fella’s eyes lit up with dollar signs. Who knew there were such riches to be made in catpoo?

Today, indoor cat owners tend to join one of three camps, in which they hunker down stubbornly whilst lobbing covert missiles at their opponents. Let’s call them the Clumpies, the Crystal-Stompers, and the Smug Bastards.

In my Velcro Days, I was a Clumpy. Oh how pleased I was with the brand, Catsan, which needed to be carried home on the back of a Bernese Mountain Dog but delivered a litter tray that only needed scooping once a day. All the moisture and other nasties got transformed into pleasingly unrecognizable lumps of clay, which then went in the bin and then, obviously, to Heaven.

Admittedly, Velcro spread the stuff from one end of the flat to the other, but I bought her a covered tray with a cat flap (which she grudgingly learned to live with) and vacuumed a lot. I was a Clumpy and that’s all there was to it.

Since then, clumping cat litter has fallen under suspicion for causing asthma and digestive problems in cats and even deaths in young kittens. Nothing’s been proven yet and rumours tend to spread like fleas through the pet community, but I decided to err on the side of caution. So the search was on for a new kinda cat litter.

My friend Miss F is a Crystal-Stomper — she uses the stuff with the blue specks in it that is apparently made from silica gel. She says it’s light, it absorbs everything, including odours, and only needs scooping for solid waste. One packet lasts her two cats about ten days. The catch is, it gets tracked around the house on fluffy paws and it’s not environmentally friendly.

I worry a bit about the whole silica gel thing too. Isn’t that the stuff in your shoes that says “Do Not Eat”? What happens if you do? Do you turn into a pile of dust? A pillar of salt? Nobody ever tells you.

Being the contrary wee beastie she is, (and an excellent reader) I can just see Mei Mei sitting down with a knife and fork and chowing down on the stuff.

Smug Bastards go for biodegradable cat litter and that’s the camp for Mei Mei and me. Her breeder recommended the Breeder’s Choice brand and I have to say, so far I’m rather liking the stuff. It’s made of recycled paper in little pellets that look like, I dunno — guinea pig poop? — and although MM does like to get in there and juggle the stuff like a circus clown, she doesn’t track it around the house on her paws.

Breeder’s Choice is made from environmentally friendly recycled paper and is safe to flush down the loo (in small, fist-sized quantities) with the rest of your cat’s business. It’s not dusty and is made with no nasty chemicals, and although it’s not cheap, it’s not the most expensive brand either. I’m happy to pay for the sense of smugness it gives me, whilst I studiously ignore the sea of plastic pet products I wade through every day.

Breeder’s Choice does only a reasonable job of absorbing the diabolical smell of cat skats, but there’s a way around that — just use enough that you can completely replace the litter daily. I only use a scoop or two at a time and twice a day it all goes down the outside loo — MM only needs enough to scratch around and cover up afterwards.

I still think cat litter technology has a long way to go — it’s no wonder people are going for the Litter Kwitter in the hope of being freed from the tyranny of the litter box forever. But until the dream of a poo-free cat is realized — or the perfectly-priced odour absorbing, clumping, self-scooping and environmentally friendly cat litter hits the supermarkets, Smug Bastards we are and shall remain.

RATING: 

BUY IT: www.fibrecycle.com.au
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