Puppies go through phases just like kids do. The good news is that you soon get used to the constant changes — rising to the challenges is half the fun of watching any young thing grow.

Being the control freak that I am, I did a bit of research on these phases and found out that there’s around seven in all that last between 4 weeks and several months. At the moment Jack is transforming before our eyes into a more independent (and sometimes annoying) pre-teenager. It’s nice to have some idea what’s coming. It’ll also help us to do the best by him so he’ll turn out happy, secure and (fingers crossed) well socialised.

An interesting statistic — if you believe statistics — is that animal shelters are chokkas with six-month-old puppies — because that’s when most puppies are at their most trying (or when owners are at their most worn down.)

So, in the interest of happier canine-human relationships here it is: Miss D’s Definitive Guide to your Growing Puppy.

Stage 1

I want my Mum! (Birth-7 Weeks)

In a nutshell: Is my pup being kept safe and warm in a loving, calm environment?

What’s going on: Puppies are born blind and deaf, so at first their world is all about warmth, food and family. As their eyes open and their senses develop, they start to learn how to be a dog, and how to relate to humans. Puppies tend to grow up with “Mother Issues” — a bit like us, really. If Mum is calm, the puppy will grow up calm. If the mother is fearful, the puppy is highly likely to be fearful too.

Puppies should stay with their Mum and littermates for their first seven-to-eight weeks so they can learn all about eating, grooming, toileting, and playing. Playing with their littermates will help them learn “bite inhibition” — a scary term that basically means: “don’t bite as hard as you can, just bite gently.”

What to do in Stage 1:

• Try to make sure your future puppy is being regularly handled by humans in a calm, loving environment.
• Try to meet the pup’s Mum too if you can. If she’s fearful, you might need to rethink adopting from this litter — a fearful mother may produce fearful, aggressive pups (think “Mommy Dearest” and you’ll get the idea.)

Stage 2

Awwwww… I’m so cute and timid! (7-12 Weeks)

In a nutshell: Teach your toddler pup that learning is fun, and work on developing confidence and good social skills.

What’s going on: This is generally the time you finally get your paws on your new puppy! Puppies are adorable but easily frightened during this period and everything that happens to them leaves a lasting impression so there’s a lot to do. If they get scared by a thunderstorm now, they might try to knock down the door during every single thunderstorm they live through as a grown up. So it’s vital to create lots of calm and positive experiences for your puppy while you’re having lots and lots of fun.

The Golden Rule for introducing these experiences is to break them down into baby steps — I learned this the hard way when I thoughtlessly “introduced” Jack to the hair dryer by turning it on and pointing the bloody thing at him! He’s really scared of it now. What I should have done was let him sniff it thoroughly the first day, turned it on across the room the second day, let him feel the warm air from it on the third day, etc. This slowly slowly technique is used by animal trainers the world over — if it works on Killer Whales, it’ll work on your puppy.

Puppies are like little sponges during these weeks and will learn action and consequence whether you like it or not. Some things they might learn include:

• Grabbing shoes and clothes results in fun games of “chase” and “tug of war”.
• Whining gets you let in.
• Nipping human hands and ankles produces superfun squeaky noises!

Being in charge of what your puppy learns in this time is a better option for both of you! Teaching tricks such as “sit” and “drop” is a great way to redirect behaviour — but keep training sessions light and fun at this stage so your puppy grows up seeing training as the funnest game ever.

What to do in Stage 2:

• Start toilet training.
• Teach your puppy by example that the house is for calm behaviour and the yard or park is the place for play.
• Don’t wrestle with your puppy and avoid boisterous games.
• Yell “ouch” loudly and stop all play for ten seconds if the puppy puts a tooth on your skin or clothes.
• Launch into a little “sit” training session if the puppy jumps on you. If that doesn’t work, leave the room in super-slow motion. Puppies find slow movements, and being left alone, incredibly un-fun.
• Introduce your puppy to as many people and places as possible. Carry the pup in your arms to shopping centres, parks etc and watch people of all shapes, colours and sizes come a-running.
• Gently and gradually introduce anything your pup is likely to encounter in his life at this stage — include the vacuum cleaner, the hair dryer, juice extractor etc. Drop into the Vet and the Dog Groomer’s and let the staff make a big fuss of your puppy.
• When the puppy shows signs of fear don’t say “It’s okay, puppy.” That just reinforces the fear. Try using play and treats to distract the puppy, and if that doesn’t work, say: “Silly puppy! Oh okay then, we’ll go over here instead!” Always remove your puppy from the scene if he doesn’t quickly recover from fear.

Stage 3

Nah nah! I’m smarter than you! (3-4 Months)

In a nutshell: Time to let your sweet pup know that while she may be smart and gorgeous, there’s still a lot to learn!

Puppies start acting like smart-alecky Tweens at this stage — they’re noticing and testing their position in the family “pack”. The puppy starts to think it might be rather nice to be in charge — to eat whenever he wants, sit on the couch with his feet up and cruise down to the dog park when he feels like it… It’s up to you to remind him that he will always be the much-loved baby of the family — otherwise you’ll end up with an out-of-control, aggressive or stressed-out doggy.

Puppies of this age will usually “discover their voice” and start barking ferociously at anything that frightens them. Jack barks at strangers, the mop and particularly annoying bones.

What to do in Stage 3:

• Keep working on everything you started in Stage 2, and provide your puppy with lots of chew toys. Teething is a constant issue at this stage — we keep a supply of toys near the baby gate and on the shelves to keep Jacks’s little gob away from our fingers pretty much all the time now.
• Puppies will start to test the rules at this stage so step up the training sessions to remind them of their place in the family pack. This is a great time to be attending puppy school or obedience classes.

Stage 4

I’m OUTTA here! (4-6 Months)

In a nutshell: Practice puppy patience and understanding. Remember that even though your puppy might be behaving like a royal pain in the behind, you still love her. Hormones can be tricky things!

Your puppy should stop nipping and “mouthing” your hands and feet during this time, but do brace yourself for constant chewing on everything else.

Your puppy is not just cutting her adult teeth now — she’s also cutting the apron strings. Puppies go through what animal behaviourists call the “flight instinct period” at this age. Irish and I were entertained by a couple in a dog park yelling “Come! Come” at a tiny dog-shaped speck on the horizon. Oh yeah — we yukked it up good. Until it happened to us.

You might want to think twice about letting your hound off the leash at all during this period — get a long lead until this “naughty” stage passes. Don’t buy into your pup’s “selective deafness” but do understand that she’s not being wilful — she’s just, you know, being a dog!

Between 16-18 weeks puppies often go through another growth spurt and experience yet another “fear” stage. Jack, who is as big as a house, shot backwards under our chair at Puppy School the other night when Bouncy, the world’s smallest puppy, bounced over to say hello. How embarrassment.

Your puppy’s personality will ramp up at this stage — if he’s bold, he’ll get 30% bolder. If he’s shy, he’ll get 30% more shy. He’ll also start working out who is strong and who’s a pushover in the pack.

This is all because hormonal changes are starting to kick in. Puppies need strict guidelines during this period, it’s true, but they also need patience. It’s not their fault the hormones are making them crazy.

What to do in Stage 4:

• Don’t be surprised if you have to move back one step in your puppy’s toilet training.
• Keep up the supply of chew toys and expect anything left lying around to get chewed to bits. Puppies get sore teeth and gums around this time.
• Cut out all games that involve a test of strength by this age — no more tug of war, no wrestling, and no more tolerance of jumping.
• Concentrate on teaching “come” and “heel”.
• If your puppy runs away don’t give chase — your puppy will think this is the most brilliant game ever. Just turn and run the other way until your puppy runs after you (hopefully).
• Get everyone in the family involved in training. That training is going to stand you in good stead through your puppy’s looming adolescence.

Stage 5

No-one understands me! (4-6 Months)

In a nutshell: Keep that doggy door open in order to build good communication and a lasting, strong relationship.

Oh god. Remember adolescence? Your dog’s going to have just as confusing a time as most humans do, what with the growing in all directions, the shifting relationship dynamics and the crazy-making hormones. This is a period when your little puppy disappears forever and is replaced by a gangly creature named: “NO! BAD DOG!!!” The good news is that this phase doesn’t last long and some days your canine will act like a model citizen.

What to do in Stage 5:

• Roughhouse play such as tug of war has to stop — your dog won’t be seeing this as a game anymore, but as a Machiavellian struggle for power in the pack.
• Provide even tougher chew toys and expect your dog to make short shrift of his beloved blue bunny and other fluffy toys.
• Make sure there’s plenty to keep the young dog occupied when you’re away unless you want your yard to start resembling the surface of the moon — we’re talking kongs, chew toys, skate-boarding ramps, hip hop classes…
• Keep your dog on the leash and work on training “sit”, “drop”, “stand”, “stay” and “heel”. It’ll keep you bonded and give you a strategy for directing behaviour, as well as gently reminding your dog who’s boss.
• Teach your dog that having human beings near her food bowl is a good thing — try hand feeding, or better still, stand by the bowl and drop treats and extra “goodies” into the bowl while she eats. What you’re trying to do here is prevent “resource guarding” — a scary behaviour that often occurs in young dogs when they think they need to protect things they “own”.

Stage 6

But I want to do it MY WAY! (8-12 months)

In a nutshell: Hang in there! Like teenage humans, individual attention and boundaries, not punishment, is what your dog needs now.

Take comfort in what I recently got told at Puppy School: “Just think how placid your dog will be when he’s eight!” Boy dogs will start to lift their legs through this period if they haven’t been neutered young. Even neutered pups may go through a stage here called “The Flakes”. Young dogs might suddenly decide they’re terrified of the barbecue or some other item that’s been in their yard since they were eight weeks old. Other household items — shoes, mobile phones — will start to mysteriously “disappear”.

Boisterous puppies, like ours, will get even more boisterous at the beginning of this period. Fearful puppies will also get even more fearful . You’ll get depressed and hit the bottle, thinking that all your training was for nothing. But practice patience, grasshopper! Any day now, your puppy is going to start calming down and acting like the dream dog you know he can be.

What to do in Stage Six:

• Give your dog positive attention by keeping up the training and getting the whole family involved.
• Deal promptly with any “naughty” behaviours that might recur during this period such as jumping up, begging or pulling on the lead.
• Strike the words “He KNOWS not to do that” out of your vocabulary. Your puppy WILL respond to the training if you’re patient.
• If your dog displays irrational fears, just say “Silly puppy! It’s just the barbecue!” The flakes will soon pass.

Stage 7

Thanks for believing in me! (1-2 years)

In a nutshell: Pat yourselves on the back for getting through these first wild month. Give yourself a Schmacko!

Hooray!

The incessant chewing will have settled down, and although you’ll still get a few incidents of teenage flakiness, your dog should start transforming into a sleek, attractive young adult.

In the human world, young adults start hankering for adventure, status, a mate — and so will your young adult dog. Even neutered dogs might display a slight increase in aggression and a renewed attempt to gain more power within the family pack. After all, while technically an adult, your dog still has some growing up to do!

What to do in Stage Seven:

• Keep up the training and take any behavioural issues seriously for the next year or so.
• This is a good time to start more advanced training, such as agility, competition training, or learning how to fetch you a beer out of the fridge every night.
• Invite your friends and neighbours around to show off your incredibly talented, socially adept, beautifully trained doggy!